The birth of Makenna

When my son was almost 2 years old, I met some of the most lovely people in the world. Ken and Kathleen had just lost their son, who they had adopted 6 months earlier, back to his birthparents. They were devastated, to say the least, as they had gone through 12 years of heartbreaking infertility treatment prior to the adoption. I decided to be a gestational (not using my own eggs) surrogate carrier for them and we started the long process of finding an egg donor, signing legal agreements, counseling, and then, IVF/embryo transfer and I got to find out a little of what it's like (physically) to go through infertility. As they synced up the egg-donor's cycle with mine, we went in for the embryo transfers (with Kathleen holding my hand), and twice, nothing happened. On the third round, they de-frosted 6 of Ken and Kathleen's frozen embryos, hoping that 4 would survive the process (with a 25% chance of each one implanting, they were putting in 4 at a time) and all 6 survived the de-frosting, so they put in 6! Well, that was the time I got pregnant! After 12 more weeks of daily progestorone shots and several vaginal ultrasounds, and other high-tech managment, I was finally released to an OB and I was determined to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after ceasarean), having read lots about birth and c-section recovery by that time. Ken and Kathleen were thrilled to be having their own baby (that nobody could take away!), and we all took hospital birth classes together, survived an earthquake (they helped us move due to the Northridge Earthquake when I was 7 months pregnant), and Kathleen and i talked on the phone daily and became very close friends. She went to every OB appointment and we had an amniocentesis (their egg donor was over 35) and found out I was carrying a girl. Well, I went to 41 weeks, they did an ultrasound and determined that my fluid was low, and I was sent to the hospital to be induced that day. I was so happy, and it was like a party, my son Morgan was 2 years old and he was there (with my ex) the whole time, and Ken and Kathleen were with me as I was hooked up to Pit and they broke my water and I started having contractions, the first I had ever felt in my life! Little did I know that those interventions were BAD, and that it's next to impossible to handle Pit contractions with only hospital class breathing techniques behind you, and after 4-5 hours of unbearbale pain, I got an epidural, then I had constant monitoring, and slept for a bit, and a few hours later I was ready to push, which was the craziest thing ever, in retrospect, pushing uphhill as I lay on my back, having been barely able to feel anything for hours prior. Finally my OB, knowing how determined I was to have a VBAC, vaccuum suctioned the baby out of me, and I tore terribly. But, Ken and Kathleen had their long awaited, healthy 9.5 lb. baby girl and they cried, and I cried, and I took videos of them holding her while I was being stitched up and it was so very magical. After a while I was wheeled to my room, where I could better care for my 2 year old, and we talked about the night and laughed and endless people came in and talked to me, making sure I knew what I was doing in signing the baby over (they really couldn't "get" that I wasn't a birthmother, that I had spent almost a year TRYING to get pregnant with THEIR baby, who wasn't even related to me!) and I asked to go home that morning (baby was born at 7:30am) and they made me wait until the afternoon, but I did go home (with terrible bottom pain for weeks!) and Ken and Kathleen took their baby home the same day and we talked later that evening on the phone. I was so happy to have a cigarette (I hadn't smoked at all during the IVF or the pregnancy) again, and of course should never have started back up, but oh man, it felt good at the time. And, I had some hard days when my milk came in, but never had feelings of wanting the baby, after all it was Kathleen's baby all along, and I was very clear about that. We did talk and get together a lot in the next couple of years, but it has lessened as both our families have increased and we moved away from Los Angeles (they had twins several years later with another surrogate). Makenna knows her whole story and we've talked many times about how I'll always be available for any questions, she's 13 years old now.